


On/Off

by BrownieSnivy



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: AU, Customer Service & Tech Support, M/M, ShrimpShipping Week 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 23:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15350679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrownieSnivy/pseuds/BrownieSnivy
Summary: Tech support is a job that requires a lot of patience to do well, and that is a virtue not well distilled in Weevil Underwood. With that in mind, maybe his obscene reaction to a certain "customer" makes more sense... Rated T for swearing.





	On/Off

**Author's Note:**

> I know this prompt was supposed to be for maximum cheese, but I think I just ended up with corny. Yep, this is definitely corny. When I saw this prompt, my first instinct was to go with the suggested coffee shop AU, but then I realized I have no idea how to make coffee. Yep, my stupidity kept me from writing an entire fic. Then i thought, "Okay, so what's a job I know a thing or two about?" I thought back to a bunch of videos I'd watched about working tech support/IT, so I just went with that. I saw a lot of potential in that idea, since people who work call centers get annoying callers all the time and I've watched every single episode of The IT Crowd. This is the result. Anyway, backstory aside, I hope you enjoy my story!

Working customer service was such a drag; Weevil couldn’t even begin to tell you. Actually, that was a lie. He would begin to tell you and then go on a long and drawn out rant about it.

It was the customers. The goddamn customers were what made the job so unbelievably unbearable. If they’d just do what Weevil told them to do he was sure their computer would be fixed almost instantly. But no. They thought they knew more about tech then he did, even if they were the one who asked for help. It was infuriating.

Occasionally, though, Weevil would get a… special type of caller.

The phone rung for about the fiftieth time that day, and Weevil picked it up and held it to his ear, ready to say the cliched, “Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?”

His caller, however, didn’t give him time to say so much as a word, “Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?”

Weevil was, as you’d expect, thoroughly baffled. “Excuse me?”

“You know, the on/off button. On your computer. Push it. It’ll probably fix the problem.”

Weevil sat at his desk in utter shock. This was the last thing he had expected.

“Are you okay, ma’am?” The person on the other side asked.

“Excuse me!” The blue-haired employee repeated back, though this time in an offended tone rather than a quizzical one.

“Do you not know what a computer even is? Because the on/off button is kinda a staple.”

“Of course, I know what a computer is!” Weevil barked back, getting more thoroughly annoyed by the second. “I work at IT!”

“Then shouldn’t you know how to fix the computer by yourself? Kinda seems like calling your own department is a tad bit unnecessary.”

“You are the one who called me!” Weevil practically screeched into the phone, “That’s it, I’m blocking this number!"

The person on the other end erupted into laughter before Weevil hung up the phone.

Idiot! The blue-eyed tech support worker was fuming. This was by in at least the top twenty of the most infuriating encounters with a “customer” he had ever had, and he wasn’t feeling ready to just block the number and simply let it go. As he began the process of blocking the number on his office phone, something caught his attention. The number the phone displayed as the caller’s looked so familiar…

Weevil pulled out his personal phone and looked up the number. The search results said it was the cell number of another tech support company that was affiliated with the same products as the one Weevil worked at. Their base of operations was on the other end of town, and Weevil remembered the number from when he had applied to work there. Ultimately, they had turned him down, but the phone number was still imprinted in his mind.

_So I just got prank called by another IT employee across town._ Weevil thought to himself, a wicked plan formulating in his diabolical young mind. **_This is war._**

He pulled up the call application on his cell phone and dialed in the company number.

“Hello, you’ve reached tech support. How can I help you?” It was somebody completely different from the first guy, but Weevil figured he could mess with him anyway.

“Oh my God!” Weevil said in fake shock. “Jimmy, is that you?”

The guy on the other end seemed completely baffled. “No, I’m Tristan.”

“Don’t try that bullshit on me, little boy!” Weevil was spinning a little in his swivel chair, thoroughly enjoying this experience. “Your mother and I have been worried sick about you! _Why,_ Jimmy? **Why?** ”

“Uh, sir, I’m not Jimmy. I swear.”

“Don’t talk back to me, young man!” The prank caller snapped back, “I have a lot to talk to you about! You must have been out of your **goddamn mind** when you abandoned your scholarship at Tokyo University! And for **what?** For **what?** ” Weevil didn’t even hesitate for a moment when his mind came up with a ridiculous story, “So you could start a new life free of our judgement? Did you honestly think we couldn’t find you when you after you ran away? You just disappeared with only a note! We’ve been looking trying to find you for years! **Years!** Why? So your mother and I can personally tell you that you are a disgrace to the Zoppi family!” Weevil had to take a deep breath after that long-winded speech. Tristan was completely speechless for a moment, and Weevil took this as a good opportunity to hang up. “See you in hell, Jimmy!”

As soon as he was sure the call was over, the blue-haired man burst out in a fit of diabolical laughing. _This is more fun then I had thought it’d be!_ After a few more minutes of antagonistic snickering, Weevil’s mind snapped back to the original task. _I need to keep this up until I get back at that caller from before!_

But before he could dial the number again, the phone in his hands started ringing. If Weevil had thought about it, he’d have known what this meant. But the shock of the phone ringing in his hand caught him off guard, and Weevil accepted the call without hesitation.

“Hello again!” It was the same guy who called Weevil in the first place, sounding overly chipper. “It’s me, the IT guy.”

“You!” Weevil growled. “I’ll have you know I didn’t appreciate your little stunt earlier!”

“And my coworker didn’t appreciate yours.” He replied simply. “He’s in the cubicle next to me, and he started complaining really loudly.”

“That’s what you get!” Weevil shot back. “Nobody crosses Weevil Underwood and gets away with it!”

“Calm down, dude.” The guy on the other end responded. “I’m not here to pick a fight. I just wanted to say,” He paused, letting Weevil soak in the tension caused by the silence, “YOU SUCK!” He blurted out as loudly as possible before he hung up.

Somehow, Weevil didn’t feel satisfied by that confrontation with his newfound rival, so he called the other IT department again.

He was greeted with a female voice, “This is IT. How may I be of service?”

“By going and fucking yourself.” Weevil answered simply.

“Um, no can-do sir.” The girl replied awkwardly. “Rex? Is this the guy you were talking about?” The next thing Weevil knew, he was back on the phone with Rex, the same idiot who started all this.

“Thank you, Rebecca. Hello, Weevil. So we meet again.” Weevil could almost see the smug look on the man’s face.

“You have a lot of explaining to do!” Weevil barked over the phone. “I’m still not over the prank call!”

“Okay, I’ll explain. I was bored, so I called you. There. Explanation over.”

“I’m still not satisfied! Apologize!” Weevil demanded.

Instead, Rex started to sing really off-key, “ _If you like piña coladas, getting caught in the rain,_ ”

He was really, really bad, but not as bad as Weevil knew he could be. Even though he would never do it in front of someone he actually knew out of sheer self-consciousness, he would do anything to get back at this twerp. The blue-haired employee joined in, “ _If you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain,_ ”

The two got caught in an unharmonious chorus, “ _If you like making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape, then I’m the love that you’ve looked for, write to me and escape._ ”

There were a few seconds of awkward silence. Weevil hadn’t expected for either of them to keep going and was now feeling thoroughly embarrassed having displayed his singing skills (or lack thereof) to a complete stranger.

Weevil quickly ended the call before Rex could start making fun of him.

_Fantastic!_ The blue-haired employee scolded himself. _Now that assclown has even more to make fun of me for!_

“Were you singing over there?” Weevil looked up to see one of his coworkers peeking over his cubicle wall, “Aren’t we supposed to be refusing to help customers and instead spending 80% of the call durability trying to sell them stuff?”

“Yes, Marik.” Weevil replied, “But I’m currently involved in a prank war with a rival call center, so I really don’t have time to do my job right now.”

“Prank calls, you say?” Marik’s face curled up mischievously, “Mind if I join?”

_If I get more of my coworkers to call,_ The blue-haired employee’s mind began to formulate a nasty plot. _We can cause maximum damage._

“Sure.” Weevil responded, pulling out a pen and a post-it note, “Just let me write down the number for you.”

“Sweet!” Marik reached over and eagerly grabbed the piece of paper, “Hey, Bakura! Want to get up to no good and maybe get fired?”

“Sounds like a treat.” Weevil heard a deep British voice reply. “Where do we start?”

Weevil dialed the phone number again and waited for somebody to pick up, “You’ve reached IT.” A male voice responded, “How can I help you?"

“I don’t know, how **can** you?” Weevil shot back.

Weevil could hear the agitation in the guy’s voice, “I don’t see how being a bitch is going to help you get your computer fixed.”

“And I don’t see how being uneducated is going to help you with your job.”

The guy on the other end suddenly went silent, and Weevil wondered if the man had given up on talking to him. Right before the call center employee was about to hang up, the guy got back on the phone, “Okay, so I see what this is about. You’re the guy who’s been prank calling our call center.”

“Maybe I am.” Weevil smirked, “What are you going to do about it?”

Right then, Weevil’s work phone rang. Since it was the office phone, Weevil couldn’t just ignore it, even if he knew what it meant.

“Hello!” Weevil recognized the voice of Rebecca, the girl he was on the phone with before, “Is this the president? I’d just like to complain about the way you’re running the county. First of all, I think the income tax rate is way too high. In fact, I think income tax should be abolished all together! The founding fathers never intended for-”

As the girl continued to talk, Weevil could hear the guy on the other end laugh, “Even over the phone, everyone stares at the hotness that is Duke Devlin.”

“What on earth does that have to do with anything!?” Weevil snapped at him.

“Are you kidding me?” Rebecca replied, “Health care has to do with everything!”

“Not you!” Weevil groaned, “Shut up, all of you!” The blue-haired duelist slammed the office phone back unto the stand and ended the call on his mobile phone. Weevil decided to try to listen in on Marik and Bakura talking to their customers a few yards away.  
“I have no problems with yelling at both of you at once!” Bakura was yelling quite furiously over what was presumably two phones, “In fact, I quite prefer it this way! Double the fear!”

“Stand by me, oh, stand by me,” Marik was singing in the cubicle next to Weevil, and though he wasn’t as bad as Rex or Weevil had been it was still rather infuriating to listen to.

Weevil’s personal phone rang, and Weevil was eager to give whoever was on the other end a piece of his mind.

“Weevil Underwood.” It was Rex again, “I see ya’ve sicced some of yer coworkers on us, eh? I’ll have you know all of my coworkers are on the offensive now, too.”

Weevil’s work phone rang, and Weevil growled as he picked it up to be greeted with Tristan’s stupid voice, “ _Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, banana phone!_ ”

Weevil practically threw the phone back onto its stand and prepared to really let loose at the caller on the other end, when he felt a finger tap his shoulder.

It was Seto Kaiba, his boss.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” The tall man yelled furiously, “You should be working, not prank calling other offices around town! You’ll be lucky if I severely dock your pay for this brash behavior! You should be ashamed!”

“S-s-sorry, boss!” Weevil stuttered, “I’ll never act out like this again, I promise!”

“You’d better not!” Kaiba sent one last glare Weevil’s way before sashaying out of the office.

“Oh boy!” Marik’s voice said from over the cubicle, “Glad Kaiba didn’t catch me or Bakura, because then we’d be in hot water!”

“Shut up!” Weevil snapped back, “Nobody asked you!”

Weevil glared his laughing coworker down as the darker-skinned male retreated back into his cubicle.

“Whoa, did the boss man just yell at you?” Weevil had completely forgotten Rex was still on the other end of the line, “That bites. Sorry!”

“Sure, you are.” Weevil grumbled.

“I had a lot of fun to day, so I’m in a good mood,” Rex said, “I feel like forgiving ya, Weevil.”

Weevil snapped up in his chair, “You’re forgiving me? I’m the one who’s been demanding an apology!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Rex rambled nonchalantly, “Anyway, it seems to me like we’ve got a lot in common. We should hang out sometime.”

That certainly wasn’t something Weevil was expecting. “Pardon?”

“I would ask for your phone number, but I already have it.” The fellow IT employee chuckled, “Oh well. See ya later, alligator.”

The phone beeped, signaling to Weevil that Rex had ended the call and leaving the blue-haired duelist completely dumb-founded.

That was the last Weevil ever saw of him.

Until he called again the next day, that is.

**Author's Note:**

> If this fic had gone on for longer, Rex would continue to call Weevil at the stupidest times, and eventually he'd rope him into hanging out. That's when the true love story would begin. Alright, enough from me. I hope you liked my silly little fic and have a very nice day!


End file.
